Only a Curse
by Midoriko-sama
Summary: A certain someone's thoughts about a certain curse.


Only a Curse 

By Midoriko-sama

July 27, 2003

What of it? It is nothing but a curse. Nothing but a stupid curse that I will lift, do doubt about it.

Sure, not _literally_ lift, `coz I've tried, Kami _knows_ that I've tried. Every night the first two months I spent it trying to get this forsaken curse off me, but I never managed. I stopped then of course. No use getting myself tired when I had a charge to protect and an objective to attain.

I still try sometimes nowadays, but only to see if with me increased strength I can lift it. Nothing really works, even when I use the sward on it.

I stretch and pop my back, then relax back onto my branch. Not that I want it off. What of it? It's just a curse. Well it used to be a curse, and it still is when she just uses it because she's angry with me, but most of the time I'm glad of it now. When she's angry I know she's always going to respond in the same way, that she always has a backup instead of leaving us for good.

Even when she's about to leave, I can jerk around as much as I want, and pull out threats even I know will never go through with- like destroying the well- just because I know she can stop me. It a kind of little game I like to play, a little fencing for power between me and her, although we both know where we stand now after years of companionship. I can rip her apart with a flick of my wrist, but I will never. She can leave for good, but will not.

I'm fairly sure of that now. I was nearly sure at the very beginning, when after closing the well she _found_ a way to come back to me, and hugged me for the first thing she did.

Have to admit, I'd missed her scent. A lot. When I smelt it again- my blood didn't only go to my muscles. At least, not only to the muscles of my arms and legs. When she hugged me I had to yell at her to get off me. I really didn't want to get sat for her feeling _that_.

I still doubt sometimes though. Like when she comes home smelling of other males, of a lot of other males, and when I ask her, she waves her hand at me and just say that there are other males at school too.

Followed her once too, and I saw her stuck into a room, sitting down for most of the day. What really annoyed me was that she gave her full attentions to one man at a time, the ones that were older, and smelt older, and started talking nonsense about this and that to all the people that should have been working the fields and instead were there sitting and listening to these men.

I'm older than any of those human men, why on earth doesn't she ever pay attention to me like that?

Not that I'm jealous . . . Keh, I can't help it, I am. Of course I am. I've never given up so many parts of my body, layers of my skin, and days of recovery to anyone before, as much as I have for her. I have a claim on her for it, I know, and Myoga won't shut up about it every time we're alone. But hell can't I get anywhere near her. For one, I have Kikyou . . . to put to peace. Hell no, between me and me I can say it- I have Kikyou to get rid of. She isn't human, she isn't youkai, she isn't even the same person she used to be. She is like a sibling of herself, one who was friend and lived by Kikyou, and so knew her memories, and that shared her own looks, but isn't still the same person.

Hey that makes sense thinking of Kagome too. She could have been Kikyou's sister for all her resemblance and power, but never Kikyou. And thank Kami too. I wouldn't laugh at her half as much as I do. Not at all probably. Kagome's just so. . . real. Human. Fragile and faulty.

Hnnn, I tug at my necklace. Grrrr, calling it like that makes it sound like some piece of female vanity. Oh well, it is what it is. What would I do to get it off me? I wonder where I would dare arrive.

Myoga suggested seducing her. The little flea's been drinking too much of the monk's blood, that's sure. But it's a tickling idea, have to say. But then, if she really took the curse off me while seducing her, while I kiss her, who would stop me from just  . . . continuing? 

No, no, no, no, not an option. Sure, she'd have to stay then, and she'd have to do as I say, because me being male, there wouldn't be anything else to do with the instincts. And hell she would be mad at me- and wouldn't be able to sit me either . . . Keh, I've got to stop thinking about it or I'll do it.

Especially now, that I'm in this tree, watching her bath. Oh yeah, I'm a lecher too. And what's better about it is that if she sees me, all I get is a sit (or a couple of hundreds of them) and a number of days of her being mad and muttering hentai at me. The curse has its uses. The next time we'll be attacked she'll be all over me again.

Seducing her. . . oh kami, the thought alone is . . . I _said_ I was going to stop thinking that way. Or rather, I'll stop thinking and just concentrate on watching.

It connects me to her too. Once I thought about what let me go through the well, and well may be this curse. If she took it off, maybe I wouldn't be able to go after her, and then our little balance would be broken. I could rip her, and she could leave.

Strange. I shake the beads to make them crack together. They're a barrier between us and what keeps us together. But what of it? It's just a curse.

Oh shit. The beads made too much noise, she's calling my name and looking for me in the trees, and she's sank deep into the water. She always does that. As though the transparent water could cover her from my eyes. As if _anything_ could, even her clothes.

Uh oh, and here she comes, wrapped in that long thin white thing of hers and right under my tree, and looking up at me, and calling me as angrily as any other time she caught me. By now, I would have thought she had grown used to the idea of how much I liked her bathing. Why else would she avoid bathing with Sango? Unless the girl asked to be alone . . . HA! The monk.

And there she calls again with an angrier voice. This time I'm playing asleep. I never did it before, I always just showed myself when she caught me.

Aouph!!

And there came the timely sit. Was expecting it, too. That's what I like about it, it's regular and punctual. It doesn't even hurt as much as I let it seem to either (unless I land on something nasty).

My usual stream of curses, a couple of well placed insults, and pointing out the fact that a hanyou can't sleep in peace anymore. There she is now, saying sorry. Kami, I feel a little ill at myself for fooling her.

WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING! She's . . . she's sitting next to me, next to my hip, and leaning against my back. She's lying down on my back, wet and robeless. The little bitch is just asking for trouble. Thank Kami I'm facing down. Thank Kami for this sit.

She saying sorry softly into my ear, and thank Kami for the sit that I can't move. Thank the Kami indeed. And she's asking why I do it. Then she knew . . . .

I ask her. She says she could feel it, my youki, always in the area, whenever she bathed alone. What else could I tell her? I told her I have to protect her, it's my duty.

Only for that. She asked me if it was only for that. Is she _trying_ to . . to . . maybe she is. Thank Kami I'm facing down. Thank Kami for this sit that is keeping me planted to the ground and unable to turn.

I tell her again that I have to protect her, that it is my duty towards her. So I cannot leave her alone. Kami-sama, she sounds disappointed. _Disappointed_ as she says arigatou. I can't believe it, _disappointed_. Maybe she is.

Hell, I told her. I just up and told her. I told her that I came also because she was beautiful. Kami, am I stupid or something? She had believed I was asleep, and now she's going to throw hentai at me for weeks, for _being_ a hentai, and for trying to trick her.

Ari . . . .Arigatou. She just said arigatou, in my ear again, kissed my cheek, pushed off me and left.

Thank any Kami existent that this sit thing got longer every time she used it. The first time she did I was on my feet after a few seconds. If that hadn't changed, and I could move already, she wouldn't me a shikon-no-miko anymore. At least, not _only_ a shikon no miko.

I've got to stay here a little longer now. The sit will be wearing off soon, but I can't go back to camp just yet. Keh, now with this sit I'm facing down, but I can't just crawl to camp. And the monk with tactlessly point it out. So no, no option.

When I'm free, I rise slowly and rest against the tree I had been using as a view point. O now I'm facing the spring. Humph, I might as well, seeing that I have to get myself into something cold and calm down.

I sit on a handy rock, and I can't help the shiver upon remembering she had been sitting on it too. It was nearly like touching her.

I rest my back against the bank, keeping my ears on the area as a second nature kind of thought. I put my elbows up on the bank, and then I start playing with the beads again. The clack loudly again as I wave my wrist around, holding one bead in my fingers.

If it hadn't been for them today, while she lay on me, nothing would have stopped me. Not even myself.

I shiver again. So it's got its uses. Sort of. But, oh well, it's only a curse, what of it?

End

An idea come to my while watching the anime episode where Kikyou is resurrected. In one of the memories he had of her, he is spying Kikyou in mush the same way he spied Kagome at the very beginning while she bathed. That led me to think that Inuyasha really wasn't watching Kagome for the jewel, or that he actually stopped doing it.


End file.
